Reflection...

Today is the day I chose to write my post in Microsoft word which I never did before… coz it’s not my personality by being careful and cautious in my writings or even in what I am doing… I always prefer doing something recklessly.. everything for me is just a piece of cake… No wonder I wrote in regretful manner…

I am sure..that all of you don’t really know what I meant.. Somehow, you also might feel the same way but don’t know how to express and describe the feelings… me either.. Maybe end of this writing, you won’t find what exactly the means of this writing…

I made a lot of thinking about myself in 23 years.. and to be more precise ‘22 years 3 months and 17 days’… Have you ever asked yourself on how good you are in your living… what’s your achievement.. what is actually you gained in so many years of life.. all this while.. is it worthwhile? Or is it full of misery? and to be more relevant.. did I or did us… ever asked whether we able to set our ‘foot’ in heaven with all the good and bad things we have done before?

So many questions coming out of my head and it made my hairs stand… but I have to move on and find the answers… It’s seems like I’m in a race to unlock a code.. or maybe to untie the tightened ropes… it’s not a piece of cake anymore….

I don’t know the answer too.. but I’m so sure about what I should do… or at least I try to do… First, I have to think deeply and put myself in the ‘reflection room’.. and for me.. I prefer to think about myself and reflect on my deeds while sitting on the praying mat after night prayer (I’m feel sorry to myself.. coz I rarely do it..).

When the ‘ropes untied’…. It is compulsory for me to seek for the solution in order to keep it untied …. Am I able to find the solution? What if I am not? What if I am able to find the solution but don’t know how to start it?? Now I started to hate ‘What if’ questions.. coz it make me mad of unsureness…

I just hope someone can slap me hard on my face… But no one ever did… I ever slapped myself several times..but it doesn’t work as I wish… I need to come back to the reality….. and have a long sight on my purposes of life.. I had made myself dragged away by the strong current called desire… I need someone to hold me and pulled me away from it… it is shameful asking for someone’s help when you have to do it on your own…

Life as a platform for us to do as much as we afford to please Allah the one and only…

Life as a garden where we can plant good or bad crops which we can harvest later …in the Day of Judgment….

World is a big stage… where we are the protagonist.. and it is our choice to perform good or bad play….

The judgment day is a sure event that everybody will participate… no one excluded… it is our vital point of what our life really is… whether in heaven or hell…

So..let’s seek for Allah s.w.t forgiveness… let’s go back to the where we belong…

Today is better than yesterday..

The title above seems so hard to be true... at least for me..
salamualay'kum.. sahabat... yes! i'm back.. but i don't know how long am gonna stay... when i reviewed my last posts... i'd concluded that.. there's so much irregularities... and inconsistency in my writings... firstly, coz I don't have concrete reasons for my writing... and even I have one.. i don't really hold to it strongly that i wouldn't fall apart or flying away from the point! secondly, i didn't post regularly & consistently which then made my post started and ended wrongly... 3rdly, I'm not really good at writing.. and blogging is one of the way or medium that i can express my feelings toward myself or anything else...

I feel so bad about my own blog and at the same time... i feel a bit relief that i'm still able to write a post today... at least i can put my 'junks' here... ngee!

Around one month i left this blog... so i don't know how to start... can i juz write about my experiences here???yes... you can..write whatever you want...

on 16th Jan i started my clinical attachment in Raja Perempuan Zainab II Hospital... everything went really well.. except for few days of stress & intolerable! The only thing that's not going so good is my 'Iman'...well...since there's no 'usrah' along with the workloads which made me a little bit disarray....the ignorance & unawareness worsened the situation... I'm feel sorry to myself... But i'm grateful that I'm able to attend a 'usrah' here even with different 'naqibah'.. i felt recharged some how...

We all know that... when our soul were deprived... the same went to our performance either mentally or physically.... we can feel the significant different when our soul changed.. we'll be so stressful... or maybe suddenly feel sad even we don't know why we sad... we treat every work put on us as a burden... think and interpret every single things negatively... so...and so...
It seems like the negative charge or aura were surrounded us... without we realized it...
Talking about the physical consequences... we might feel so tired even after doing simple job... we also feel exhausted... feel really weak and disenergized... or maybe when we prick the needle to our finger..it feel like we stabbed our chest with the knife...
you may think i'm exaggerting... but that's how i feel... & people always be different in any sense.. In conclusion, so many negative thing will be when our weak soul enfeebled our mental & physical health!

To keep our performances either mentally or physically keep in escalating trend... don't you think we should be able to keep our soul strong and healthy as well..
since I'm a muslim... i should alarm myself on the importance of keeping my faith strong and unshakeable... but that's so hard to keep if we don't have friends around to remind us.... our family to scold us.... and even our naqibah to monitor and encourage us...

so...Thanks to all..who help me in 'managing' my soul whether directly or indirectly...

help me!!

salamualay'kum.. sahabat... ampunnn bangat dehh.. ngak bisak di continue post di bawah..
currently, i'm pursuing my clinical attachments in Hospital Raja perempuan zainab ii, kota bharu kelate.... so.. u know what... there's no internet connection in my house... moreover...we are using the broadband (don't wanna state from which....)... and now we only can use it during practical.. limited time,,,for sure...
whatever it is... i hope everyone..will enjoy the days... and will always pray for the best.... ('V')!

till then.. hope to 'see' all of you...real soon...

sharing is boring???

People always love to say that 'sharing is caring' when they want something from others... but tooo lazy to share with others what they have.... so for them sharing is boring or maybe sharing is nothing??

i have lots & lots of thing to share with all of you guys..it's not the every story that you may heard from commoners... hehe! but from me.... dietetics student which currently doing my clinical attachments in Kuala Lumpur general Hospital... let me start....

Orientation days: the dietitians inspired us a lots.. we can feel the 'aura' from what we called experienced peoples...

Paediatrics attachment: i loved when i'm in the wards but it's not that i loved looking at the sick babies & kids but becoz they'r little people that all people will fall in love.... kids is loveable!

the cases that we came accrossed : 6 months baby with sub-acute intestinal obstruction which she's not thrieving, 7 years old down syndrome kid with esophageal atresia on gastrotomy.. this kid is really active..fun..love to talk...& he had a hole near his neck.. so when he ate orally or by mouth the foods will come out from the hole... the last time i saw him was in NICU..huu! and then 5 months old baby girl from kuching diagnosed with hepatoblastoma... she had big upper-limb and lean extremities... another interesting case was 1 year old lil'girl with Prader-wili syndrome... she's really love to look straight into your eyes..& will smile a bit with her tiny lips... she's so cute...& unfortunately she's on pump feeding....

most of patients will be feed via pump-feeding here... as to increase their tolerance & for them to get enough of everything...

but most interesting part here is when we met the "anorexia nervosa' patient... we are fortunate bcoz we are able to communicate & understand them... but the next groups of dietetics student are not allowed to see them.... there are two patients with this disorder...both are female teenager aged 17 years old..one of them diagnosed since age 12 & the other one was newly diagnosed..

they both are bright.. excellent students... but refused to eat...& have to supplement with special milk like Ensure... they ate very little...very fussy on what we put in their foods... what they ate mostly stimmed foods (vegies, fish, & poultry)... fruits & porridge... dealing with this kind of patient we must be patient... coz we cannot expect them to change just like what u'd planned....

the environment..family...friends & their needs that we have to take into consideration...

to be continued....

hear me....mumble! mumble! mumble!

mumble 1) where's my new year resolutions? i have it already but i forgot to put it in my blog post as i promised.... so my new year resolutions....i'm gonna be as good as Allah s.w.t want me to be... & i believed everything will go just fine if i keep this motto/principle in my soul & mind! forget what other's will say & think bout me... because it's not them judging me in the judgement day... Pray for me friends... 'O Allah, make me a better person & blessed me with your jannah" ameen...

mumble 2) why am i taking so looong to post a new post? coz of my hectic schedule & i'm only switch on my laptop to check for new mails... currently, i'm doing my special units clinical attachments in HKL... started 1 week ago...

mumble 3) what am gonna say now? what's next post would be... mybe i need few more weeks to post a new post..haha!

mumble 4) i wish i can tell you all the stories when i was in hospital for clinical attachments... some are nice to hear... but some are not...

mumble 5) when can i stop mumbling??? now!! tata..bye2...hope 2 see u 'real' soon... ngee

Celebrating another year of my Life...

You know I always love lists. I make them all the time..even in the posts. i start out work not every morning..haha! but I'll definately do it when i got a very hectic schedule..& so many things to do in a day... Now whether I actually cross out everything on that list by the end of the day,that's a whole different matter.

And yes, I make a list of things to do at the start of each year..hehe....but it's processed & stored in my brain... no more paper..at this moment i saved the tree pulp! My 2009 list went something like this :

1) try to attend all the usrah, as well as to commit & responsible to usrah which under my responsibility.

2) study??? enjoy it..!!

3) Meet my old friends at least once a year

4) have a holiday vacation that can ease my body & soul....

5) try to be concern in everything,....even if I'm not able to grab it!

long list to go.... but the 1st item... i'm doing my best...but there's always room for improvement... about 2nd item... sometimes i did enjoyed studied..but most of the times i'd stressed...haha! but i think this semester will promise something new & memorable! the other items...I'll eventually get to them.

so what about the 2010 list??? emmm....i'm still thinking about it.. i'll share with all of you later...

My birthday was on 19th November... i rarely celebrating my birthday...but i always love to hear wishes from my friends... so the last birthday... my sis surprised me with a birthday & that was when i'm in my hometown... But...she thought I'm already 23 but actually i'm juz 1 year younger which is 22 years old.... guess what she did???

oh noo...sis! i'm juz 22..i noe i'm look a bit older than my age..but plzzz...i'm 22!so...i re-decorated the cake.... anyway, the cake taste really nice..& most importantly, it's packed with chocolate!! yeeehaaa...

i'm back!!! Holiday story!

salamualay'kum sahabat....

like always..i don't know how to start the post... esp. when i left it for sooo long... it's not that i want it to be that way..but the situations brought me to this... 1stly, my laptop also had the 'menstrual cycle' every semester.. so i did the reformating... & 2ndly, when you are too busy with your study..you don't have time to think about other things...like blogging..playing...et. cetera... 3rd, i'm seriously don't know what else i can share with all of you in this blog...like the ideas was trapped somewhere in my brain...hehe!
so! currently am doing my clinical attachment in PPUKM for two weeks... & will continue the special units attachment afterward in HKL... huuu..
okay... i'll tell you a little bit about my holiday.... for me..that's the best holiday that i ever had...

be with my parent for merely three weeks.... went to my sis house in kuantan for almost 1 week just to baby-sit my nephews... & back to KL for trips!!
It's not in an actual plan...but we managed to set our steps in Kota Kinabalu, Sabah for 4 days... am not climbing the Mount kinabalu for sure... but we managed to go to Manukan Island...by boat... it will take around 10-15 minutes from KK Jetty... it's the 2nd largest of five tropical islands of Tunku Abdul Rahman Park... it's offer beautiful... pristine coral reef off the beach with its colourful marine life. we also went to the local markets which offer unique handicrafts as well as sea products... what i can suggest here is...if you really plan to go to any place that you're not familiar with... do plan well... & it's better if you have your travel guide...
not much i can say about my trip to KK..but back to peninsular... the day after i arrived... my siblings & I dashed to Cameron Highland... i think most people already went there...but not me...huhu! so that's my 1'st time... I'm glad to be there... at least I can enjoy the views with my own eyes & feel the cold breeze... everything is beautiful... the mountain of tea trees...the flowers..& the freshnessssss of fruits esp. strawberries & vegies... I dropped my mouth everytime i went to the markets & the farms... i love fruits & vegies... that's what a dietitian shud do!
we spent about 2 days in Cameron Highland... & i thought the trip will end...but you know what? we straight away..went to Lumut..for the next trip..which would be Pangkor Island... it's not in our plan of course..so..we end up wearing the same clothes..which a bit smelly... haha! & bought new clothes then... the worst thing is we don't book for any hotel/apartment to stay.. & all were occupied... Luckily, we managed to get a Pent house...it's soooo big...& expensive...but we have no choice.. so we stayed there for one night & the next morning we went to Pangkor Island by ferry... there we just shopping for clothes, seafoods & enjoy the scenary... it's really beautiful but since it holidays..the beach was crowded with peoples & it's doesn't feel so good...
so ALWAYS PLAN FOR EVERYTHING!!

the trips ended in Pangkor Island... we drove back to KL.. nice memories...indeed!

i am the sea warrior..yee haa! nice catch!

the shops... crowded with variety of seafoods product...as well as peoples! (look how gloomy harraz's face)

sis...plzz don't hug me... i'm trying to act cool here....

welcome to pulau pangkor....

Pangkor Island jetty...

in front of penthouse....

on the way to Lumut, Perak... just went down d hill from cameron..

enjoy the sweeet n a bit sour of strawberries...

in the tea house... nice view...

2 little kids playing in the bush...

ohhh plzzz...i can't bear the cuteness....

plzzz...don't force me... (look at his papa's hand...pushing his head juz to have a shot!)

my kids & I...u can see my niece is bigger than me...nooo...